Modern Times
by princegeorge
Summary: Even Hogwarts has to enter the 21th century...or do they? Hogwarts staff facing modern times.
1. Chapter 1

**Modern Times**

 **A/N** _A HP story, not featuring HP. I am more fond of the adult characters. A thing that popped into my head the other day. R and R, please! Love, george._

o-o-o-o

'Minerva, what in Merlin's name is that?'

The potions master stared in horror at the contraption that had set up place in the corner of her living room. A kobold he thought, dressed in red and white, all the white parts covered in lights, wiggling and waving its hand and shouting 'Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho! Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!' Then suddenly the red parts of the outfit began to sparkle as well and the creature changed its tune: 'Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Happy New Year to everybody! Happy…'

It was late in November and even he recognised the thing as something related to Christmas, even if the first impression of it was seeing the Headmaster on too much butterbeer.

Minerva hid a smile when she returned from her kitchen, carrying a tray with mulled wine and chocolate. If nothing else, just the sight of Severus Snape confronted with something so utterly cheerful made it worth the wile to have the thing in here.

'Isn't it jolly?' she said. 'It's a present from Miss Granger, to show us how Muggles celebrate the holidays. She modified it so that it would work on magic instead of batteries. I thought about setting it up in the teacher's lounge, wouldn't that be great? ' she continued, her singsong Scottish accent making it even more merry.

Snape frowned, thought for a second, then pulled out his wand and made the thing disappear in a rather nasty smelling cloud of smoke.

'Thank you for that, Severus, ' Minerva said, and with a wave of her own wand opened a window, so the smelly smoke could leave the room. 'Good heavens, I never thought it would be so unpleasant,' she grumbled, picking up her copy of _Transfigurations Today_ and waving it to help the mess disappear.

'And I thought Miss Granger would have better taste that that,' Snape complained.

'Oh she does, she does. She just wanted to show me an example of what we may have to deal with.'

With the singing horror vanished and the last threads of foul smoke drifting out of the window, the room had returned to its natural peaceful state. A fire crackled in the hearth. Two walls covered with books, a worn sofa and an armchair near the fireplace, a polished mahogany desk in the far corner, covered in paper, ink bottles, books, tea mugs, magazines and quills. Small tables everywhere, paper and student's essays covering them, along with hairpins, needles, pincushions and matchsticks that she used for her lessons. He suspected there might be a family of mice as well, kept in stock to be Transfigurated into stemware or bookmarkers, but to be honest he never found any trace of that. The room was nice and warm, a bit dusty, cluttered and comforting and he had found to his own surprise that he liked it. His own quarters were pristine, one couldn't have stuff lying around when working with poisonous material. He was used to it and liked his place neat, and still he felt nice, warm and welcome when he entered Minerva's messy rooms.

Minerva pushed a pile of paper from the coffee table- he thought he noticed a letter from the Ministry of Magic among it- and put the tray down.

'There you are, Severus. This is a gift from Miss Granger's as well: her gran's recipe for mulled wine. I must say, I like it very well.'

She poured them both a cup and broke some pieces of dark chocolate.

'Mmm, it's very good,' the potions master had to admit. 'You made this?'

'No need to be so surprised,' she said, indignant.

'I see. You followed the recipe then.'

'I did, yes.'

'Well done. Sometimes you can take a few liberties with the recipe, but that takes skills and a certain _je ne sais quoi_ that not everyone possesses. Pardon my French.'

'And I don't possess those qualities, you have made that very clear in the past, thank you.'

He smiled and put his arm around her shoulders. 'I'm sorry Minerva, I just couldn't help teasing you a bit,' he whispered and placed a soft kiss on her temple.

'That's alright, we all need to be reminded of our limits now and then. Thank you.' She snuggled a bit closer.

After enjoying each other's company for another hour, sharing a second cup of mulled wine and some sow kisses, Severus remembered what he had wanted to ask her after they had gotten rid of the noisy Muggle Christmas decoration.

'You said it was an example of wat we have to deal with,' he frowned. ' I suppose singing Christmas monstrosities are the least of our concern. So, what are we going to have to deal with, Minerva?'

o-o-o-o

 **A/N**

 _TBC if you like it…. Let me know, x george_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A/N A trip to Muggle London shows the two Hogwarts staff members what they are about to face.

o-o-o-o

The next afternoon Minerva and Severus Apparated in London's East End, per Miss Granger's directions. 'Miss Granger has invited us to visit Muggle London with her, so we can have a taste of what awaits us the next year, she said,' Minerva had explained to her friend. 'I haven't been in Muggle London in years, or any Muggle place at all come to that, have you?'

'I was in Liverpool last summer you know, at the Potions Masters Congress…ah, I see. Never visited the Muggle part of the town. So yes, I know as little as you do. Are we to meet her in this public house?'

Minerva nodded. ''The Ten Bells', she said. ´ Do I look presentable?'

He carefully looked her over. As a witch in her robes she looked quite magnificent, but in a Muggle dress...the dresses she had were so outdated even he had to notice. He had studied some Muggle fashion magazines, for practical purposes only, mind you. One wouldn´t want to visit Muggle London, or any Muggle place, and be embarrassed by one´s companion ´s looks. So he had carefully picked out a style for her. With a wave of his wand she wore heels, slack black trousers, an elegant burgundy cashmere sweater, a long necklace and a black robe.

He nodded. ´You look alright. The hair is fine, it can stay up like this.´

´Why, thank you Severus,´ she said a little bit angered.

´Thank me indeed. You haven't changed your Muggle outfit for almost five decades, Minerva. That flowered dress, honesty, it was…´

´Oh all right! Now, are we going to enter this place or not?´

They entered. An old fashioned, small pub. Severus scanned the place and couldn't find Miss Granger.

´Well, that is the first surprise,´ Severus remarked. `Miss Granger not waiting for us with a stack of books in front of her.´

´I believe she had something like an excursion in mind,´ Minerva answered.

They found a table and ordered drinks. ´A G+T for the lady and an orange juice for me, please'.

´I have to admit I´m a bit curious,´ the Potions master said. 'This place to start with. Did you know Jack the Ripper reportedly picked up his last victim in this pub?'

'Yes, I know. Also, this was one of the poorest part of the city at the time.'

He raised an eyebrow. 'Not so poor anymore it would seem, if the price of the drinks is any indication.'

o-o-o-o

The door opened and Miss Granger appeared. She looked around and didn't seem to find them.

Severus waved. 'We're here, Miss Granger.'

Her eyes widened in surprise. 'Professor Snape…and Minerva? You look stunning!'

'Thank you,' Severus replied smugly and Minerva scowled.

'Severus chose this for me,' she explained. 'Don't make him any more vain than he already is. Good to see you Hermione.'

Miss Granger ordered a drink and then explained her mission.

'You see, the Muggle world has changed somewhat during the past five or so years. I assume you Apparated right here on the spot?'

'We did, Miss Granger,' Severus nodded.

'I would like to take you on a walk around Muggle London, to show you what has changed the most. Including a small ride on the underground. It is really something you have to see with your own eyes. And it's not just here, it's everywhere in the Muggle world,' Miss Granger explained.

'Is this some kind of disease?' Severus asked.

'Not really professor Snape, though it may be called a kind of addiction.'

Minerva broke in.

'Is there any chance you two could start using given names? 'Professor Snape and Minerva' does sound a bit silly, don't you agree?'

Miss Granger and professor Snape both looked a bit uneasy, but Minerva called the waiter and ordered a second round of drinks. This time they were all going to have a gin and tonic.

'Minerva, I…' the potions master protested, but she waved him silent.

'It will help you both relax a bit more. And Hermione, before we start our exploration of modern London, I'd like to know more about this addiction that is not a disease. Are we to notice strange spots on people's faces, or silly walks? Severus and I compared notes and between the two of us we have spent perhaps half an hour in the Muggle world, during the last ten years.'

'Minerva is right, Miss…Hermione,' Severus put in. He found the drink really helped him to address her by her given name, much to his surprise. She had been the annoying Miss G for so many years, using another name helped him to see her in a different way.

'I'm sorry Minerva, pro..Severus, you are right. I sometimes forget how much Hogwarts is a place of its own, safely tucked away in the Highlands. Just like a fairy tale…'she smiled.

'Well, for your information, it's hardly a fairy tale up in the Highlands,' Severus muttered. 'We have the Ministry to deal with, and they have shortened us on everything. How am I supposed to teach Potions when I am restricted to use ten beetle eyes per student per year? Even the brightest students couldn't…'

'Calm down Severus,' Minerva patted his arm. 'I know what you mean, I have to count my matchsticks at the end of each class, but we're here for another reason. Hermione, what is the horror that awaits us? Out with it, girl! More restrictions from the Ministry?'

Hermione shook her head.

'Oh no, no such thing. As a matter of fact I have already started to deal with that, don't worry. No, what I want to show you is about communication these days. The way people talk to each other, or not talk to each other. It's something you need to see and it's best shown in the underground.'

'All right then, let's go,' Severus said and asked for the bill. He paid the waiter, got up and made his way to the door, followed by Hermione and Minerva.

TBC

A/N Do you have any idea what Hermione wants to show them? Please leave a review if you can find the time. Love, george


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 _ **A/N Thank you all you lovely readers!**_

o-o-o-o

'This way,' Hermione guided them. 'We'll go to Liverpool Street station, it's only a five minute walk from here.'

Severus stood to admire a shop window that exposed South African art. As soon as he stopped, a young man bumped into him, mumbled a 'sry' and went on his way, never looking up from what he had in his hands.

'Hey!' the Potions Master protested but the young man didn't hear him.

'What was that?' Minerva asked curiously. 'Is something wrong with that boy? He had wires growing out of his ears, is that a symptom?'

'He is listening to music on his mobile phone,' Hermione explained, and bit back a grin when she saw the utterly bewildered expression on the faces of her former teachers.

'Phone.. is that a telephone?' Severus asked. ´What about the wires?'

'They're a headset, so that you can listen to music without anyone else hearing it.'

'I've heard about that,' Minerva said. 'But I thought telephones needed to be connected to a socket.'

'Yes but this is a mobile so you can take it with you. And it's much more than a telephone, actually.'

'Oh, really? What kind of more? Can you use it to send an owl?'

'Not an actual owl, no,' Hermione said. She began to suspect this trip might be more difficult that she had thought. 'But you can use it to send messages.'

'Oh. Is it a kind of new Muggle way to send an owl? ' Minerva tried.

'Not really, because they have the Royal Mail to send letters, like we use owls, but this is a much quicker way to send a message.'

'How much quicker then?'

'Oh, it depends on the network but usually it only takes seconds,' Hermione said, and that made her companions stand agog. She smiled.

'I think the Muggles, exactly because they're Muggles and can't use magic, are a few steps ahead of us in technology. They have invented the internet and mobile phones and such, and it's, well quicker than sending an owl. Or use the Royal Mail.'

She met two sets of flabbergasted eyes.

'Wait, I'll show you,' she said and took her own phone from her purse. Minerva almost fainted.

'What? But Hermione, you're a witch! Certainly you don't need those…' she began, but Severus cut her off, much to Hermione's surprise.

'Wait there Minerva, let Miss Granger show us what she can achieve without magic. It seems to be an interesting device, this telephone thing.'

Hermione decided to let the Miss Granger slip and went on.

We'll make a selfie, I will later explain about that…if you will stand here Severus, and Minerva…I will stand between you, I hold my telephone here and we'll make a picture. Say cheese…or glare…okay…there it is. Let me show you.'

She showed hem the picture, it had Severus looking bewildered and Minerva with her eyes closed.

'Nothing happens,' Minerva remarked after a while.

'What do you mean?'

'Aren't we supposed to wave and look cheerful?'

Hermione smiled. 'These are Muggle pictures so they don't move. I agree though, that you both don't look your best so we should take another one. Are you ready?'

She made sure they were positioned the right way and made another shot. This one turned out to be much better. Severus glared as he was supposed to do, Minerva looked stern and she had a smile on her face. After both her companions approved of the picture, she went on.

'Alright, now I am going to send this picture to Ginny, as a personal message. I could send it to Harry as well, but as a member of the government I am not sure I can trust his personal messages to remain personal.'

'You can send it to several people?'

'As many as I want, as long as they have a phone like this, Hermione answered while tapping on the small device.

'There, I sent it, now we wait a few seconds….I asked Ginny to reply…'

They all looked mesmerized to the telephone, and it didn't take long before it gave a beep.

Some more tapping on the machine and Hermione showed them Ginny's reply:

' _You're all looking great, have fun_ _!'_

Under it stood the picture with Hermione's message _:" In London with S and M,_ _'_

'What do those faces mean?' Severus inquired.

'They are called smilies. To make clear you like the message or you mean it in a fun way.'

'Why would that be necessary?'

'People might think you are being sarcastic,' Hermione explained and bit back a grin.

Severus raised an eyebrow.

'And what is wrong with that?'

'Absolutely nothing, but some people find it helpful. When you mean to be sarcastic you don't need one.'

'Ah I see.'

'I am impressed,' Minerva acknowledged. 'This certainly beats the owls and who would have thought that. Well, I see how this is a nice toy but what are we to expect at Hogwarts that you so urgently need to show us? I still see no connection with that horrid Christmas thing you send me.'

Hermione chuckled. 'That was a bit of a joke, to be honest.'

Severus snorted. 'If that's your idea of humour Hermione, I'm glad I'm usually not at the receiving end of it,' he declared.

'To be honest, it was Ron's idea,' she said.

'I see', came the response. 'That explains everything.'

'Not everything, Severus,' Minerva said. 'I for one haven't the foggiest idea why we are here. Hermione, please, tell us what we are going to do!'

They had reached Bishopsgate, crossed the street and entered Liverpool Street Station.

'We are going to take a short ride on the tube,' Hermione said. She gave them both a small plastic card. 'Your oyster cards, you need them to enter. Just watch what I do,' she said.

They did and they entered the underground station. 'Let me see… let's hop on the Circle line…this way…' they reached a very draughty platform and jumped into the train that was waiting.

The doors closed and the train ran off, and Minerva and Severus curiously watched the other passengers.

'What are they doing?'

o-o-o-o

 _ **A/N**_

 _ **Not much excitement in this chapter I'm afraid….. but do not fear, more is to come! X george**_


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